Intimidation of Creating
We’ve all been there. Some of us are still stuck there. We freeze up when it comes to creating art because we are afraid of mistakes, ugliness, imperfections. Then we do the dangerous thing of going on social media and comparing ourselves to others. Guilty as charged. How do we break free from these shackles that we’ve put on our creativity? We just do it. Do it all. Experiment. Play. Ask yourself, what if? I wonder what would happen. This is how you discover what you like doing as a creative. It’s impossible to know this without doing the work. Watching others create does nothing to build your skills or style.
For me, I’ve always loved the outdoors, adventures, animals, and characters. I’ve also had a passion for animation and film. I remembered watching “The Wonderful World of Disney,” and the episode was about the animators traveling to Buenos Aires to sketch ideas for their newest film. I thought that was what I wanted to do. I want to be the artist who is sent out on adventures to document, report, and sketch. So I went to school for Animation. I found out I did not like drawing the characters in motion over and over. I was ready for fresh new ideas, new characters. But I knew I couldn’t get a job in animation and automatically be the one they send out to do the research. I later found out that’s part of the Visual Development team, my newest degree. In the meantime, I did other art jobs. I also freelanced. I taught art classes. Every day, I was doing something different creatively, and I loved it. I knew then that I couldn’t be in a repetitive role. It didn’t ignite my spirit. I work best in what I call 'creative problem-solving'.
Urban sketching has brought me back to what I know I love doing. Every day, it’s a new scene, a new element of architecture, design, nature, and people to draw. Tons of stories unfolding daily in my sketchbooks. But the one thing I didn’t realize I loved more was an art community that also enjoys the same thing! Wow, what fun it is to sit side by side with others who are discovering daily stories in their sketchbooks as well, and sharing!
If you’re new to sketching and urban sketching. It’s ok. We all start somewhere. The key is to START. Take that deep breath and make a mess. I also like to say, “Put the blinders on!”
Here’s my newest poem. After hearing the same story from new sketchers and students every day, I felt I needed to write it to show how common those feelings are for all of us.
I’m intimidated
By Julie Kukreja
I’m intimidated.
A new sketchbook sits before me.
A beautiful book.
I worry my marks will scar its perfection.
So I sit, hesitating, and stare
Waiting for the masterpiece.
Doubt fills my mind
And words catch in my throat
Telling me I’m not good enough
To put a single mark on this page
So I sit, paralyzed, and stare
Waiting for the masterpiece.
I place the book back on the shelf.
A new book, untouched.
Its beauty remains unspoiled.
As I abandon my urge to create.
So I sit and stare once more
Waiting for the masterpiece.
A masterpiece that never arrives.
Some say risking nothing
Is actually risking everything.
Still, I feel the pressure mount.
So once again, I sit and stare
Waiting for my masterpiece.
I scroll through others’ creations online.
Comparing, I confirm my skills
Don’t measure up to theirs.
So I wonder: why bother at all?
So I sit, defeated, and stare
Waiting for the masterpiece.
A friend reaches out with guidance.
And words of encouragement.
I try to shrug it off
And make excuses for my silence.
So I sit, uncertain, and stare
Waiting for the masterpiece, still unwritten.
Now, I’m feeling exposed,
I hold the book again.
It’s still beautiful, unmarked,
But this time, I turn the page.
I dare to start a line, then pause,
Still waiting for the masterpiece.
The line becomes a scribble,
Then a shape on the page,
Something new takes form.
It turns into...
Others, who sit and stare,
Do so at my masterpiece.
* It can only be,
When you dare to begin.
Take the risk,
with full abandonment.
Releasing those fears,
of leaving messy marks.